Wow, I find out my husband is cheating. 17 years of marriage is suddenly gone in a poof of smoke. I was dumbfounded. It was so surreal. This really couldn't be happening, but it was. As it started to sink in I wanted to be alone. I wanted to curl up in a corner and not do anything. I wanted not responsibility. I didn't get it. I wanted to take time to get my bearings, but with a home I wanted to keep and kids to feed I didn't get that. I blabbed my story to everyone. I told them what a rotten cheater he was. I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight. For my sense of humor I would tell my cleints I was on the divorce diet with a high dose of adultry. I started to party a lot and became the kind of mother I would talk bad about. I knew it wasn't what was best for my kids, but I couldn't focus on them. I could only think of how deserpate, financially and mentally I was. I was a wreck. I would go through the motions at home, but really I was a Zombie. Good thing time heals. It takes lots of time, but it does heal. At five months post seperation I did something with the kids, I don't even remember what it was, but I enjoyed it. It made me cry. I also decided I needed to start enforcing the rules again. My oldest was taking advantage of my time away. She was having friends over and drinking and having her boyfriend over. That was my first signifigant step back to my old self. The next year and a half I would praise myself for baby steps, because that was all I could make when it came to managing my family. With my work taking up so much of my time I was hard to get homework done as I should. It was hard to keep the house up and chores done. I felt like a hamster on a wheel that I could not get off. Always so much to do with so little time.After almost two years, I agreed to marry my boyfriend. We haven't done it yet. We bought the house and I am waiting for him to buy the ring.