Had a good weekend. Tim and I went out with friends on Friday night. It was great to see our group of "myspacers". That site has been the best. Saturday night another friend of ours was having his annual Toga party. It was nice to drop in and say hi. He is about the best host I have ever met. Everything is Grecian at his home. He has Marble baseboards, mustard yellow accents in his home. Marble floors and lots of columns in his backyard along with white granite. He puts on the best spread of anyone I have ever known. I have asked him to cater my wedding, which will probably be about the same size as his party. I am expecting it to be about $2000 for food and decorations, but it is so worth it, because he makes things look and feel great.
I have been less than satisfied with my relationship with Tim. More than anything, I think I had some big issues I was not comfortable discussing, but I finally did. I really feel as though our money issues are totally unfair. The biggest thing, is that I somehow want to feel taken care of, which I do not at all, but secondly, I realized that I have paid everytime we have went out for the last couple of months. I pay $200 for housecleaning each month, and buy all the food, which runs about $600 a month. He pays utilities, which this month ran about $600, because of our A/C, but usually they will be around $450-500. He asked me for money for the electricity, which I gave him, but when I asked him if he were broke, he said no, he doesn't like big bills. In addition to these things, every single time we go anywhere he wants to take my Chevy Tahoe and I pay for all the gas. I am completely frustrated about how he doesn't seem to take my finances into consideration. I feel a bit used. We have a client who we will be signing up for a new build. I wanted to go out and get familiar with the community so we would be knowledgeable when we took him there. The sales lady gave us a registration form which is the "get paid" form and Tim put his name on it.
He and I bring home about the same amount of money, but I am supporting 5 kids and he is supporting one. In addition to our split of who pays what I am also paying $350 a month for my rental home. I finally tried talking to him about this, which I mentioned was very difficult. He just said, "Okay, what else." I don't feel like he even understood the stress I am going through.
We are building a pool. We agreed to split everything in half. I was fine with that, because I was selling my home and would have $100K equity. Well, after months of making double mortgage payments I told him I would have to rent it. I asked him the other day if he still wanted me to pay him for the pool. He said yes, and told me it was only a couple of Real Estate deals. I was floored. If this were one thing I wouldn't care, but it is a pattern I have seen for a long time.
I try to be generous with him. I want him to know that I care, but I don't see the same type of care and concern from him. I am really feeling disappointed and that our talk didn't amount to much. I want to give it a few days, and I set some new rules. I told him I don't want him using my credit card anymore, because he will pay for us to go out with it, but when the bill comes I end up paying it. I am going to set up an accout for all our groceries, pest control, housecleaning, and utilities and we can each contribute half. After I told him it bothered me about contributing to the utilities, he said he wouldn't ask anymore, but that is still not fair, because I am putting out a lot more money on the other above mentioned things.
I feel like he is greedy and selfish, and upon writing this I realize I need to talk to him somemore, becuase I will not marry someone that I feel this way about.